Precious Little Flowers

I recently hurt my left shoulder quite badly by walking into a metal rack in a women's clothing shop and doing deep tissue damage. I ended up wearing a sling for a week, in a heavily drugged stupor. And yeah, I know that it's the worst injury story ever. I should probably make up a story about a brawl in Faeryland that ended up with me getting rammed in the shoulder by a unicorn. Minotaur? Centaur? Something-taur....

Anyway, around that time, my 52-year-old father was just starting to heal from an injury to HIS shoulder. He stoically bore this wound, didn't wear a sling, and continued his tango dancing despite the pain. Yeah, my dad's like a tango-dancing Chuck Norris.

The thorns are sticking into his gums, but he don't care.

What is the point of this little story? People are getting wussier.

I firmly believe that each generation becomes more epicene than the last. Just listen to those stories our grandparents tell of how when they were our age, they lived in a cardboard box in the middle of a road, and every morning when they woke up (at 10pm, 2 minutes after they went to bed), they had to lick the road clean, then walk 400 miles to work (Not school. They didn't go to school). This was in the middle of Sydney, mind you. Apparently it was a wasteland in the 40's.

Even if you don't compare today's kids with old people, they're still really delicate. I think back on the sort of messed-up, gory, racist, slightly pornographic stuff I used to watch as a small child and realise that, even though I didn't turn out as a sociopathic serial killer, I'd NEVER expose 6-year-olds to that kind of stuff. That sort of stuff seemed completely acceptable (at least in MY screwed-up family) for a small child to watch. Then again, the 90's was a freer time.

Sesame Street was different in my day.

To conclude, I think it's time we revamped the youth of today. Maybe it's too late for my generation. And perhaps even Gen Z (They're all shits, anyway). But I think we should get babies chewing tobacco as soon as they're weaned. And have teeth with which they can chew...

We need the race of super-humans our grandparents were if we're going to survive the impending apocalypse. And there WILL be an apocalypse. I'm on the organising committee.